Lost in Vancouver

A thirty something single woman pretending to be a grown up... Mary Richards with liquor and attitude. Hell, I might just make it after all.

Location: Vancouver, Canada

Monday, March 31, 2003

The theory

Well, we didn't manage to disprove the theory. One was indeed 5 (or six). To top it all off, I ran into D at the pub and had to listen to his apologies for half an hour. Don't get me wrong, he's a really nice person, but "I'm sorry, I was really high on E" doesn't really warm the cockles of my heart. Time for bed now... more writing tomorrow.

Sunday, March 30, 2003

Lazy day

The film crew and their massive trucks finally left this morning, amidst a lot of banging and clanging and diesel engines, so my street is back to normal. It is raining and dark and completely unmotivating. On the upside, after the 2:30 am call, D apparently got the hint that I was unimpressed and did not bother to call me back during the day.

I spent a very quiet nite on Saturday and am feeling like I really should be doing something today. At least clean up and do my dishes, but you know... I just can't seem to get motivated. I just got a call from miss M who has convinced me to join her briefly in an abridged version of our usual 'kiss the weekend goodbye' Sunday nite at the pub. It will have to be a much shorter version than usual as yours truly is broke and needs to be up early tomorrow to take my car in to the shop before I go into work. Ah... I hope that the usual one is five theory doesn't apply tonite. For those of you unfamiliar with the theory, it states that despite one's plan to go out for one drink, it inevitably turns into five and often results in numerous UDIs (unidentified drinking injuries). I'll check in later and let you know whether we have managed to disprove the theory. I doubt it, since we formulated it.

Saturday, March 29, 2003


This morning as I wandered towards the shower I realized that I had run out of everything. Really... everything: shampoo, toothpaste, floss, moisturizer etc. How does that happen all at once? Its like the stuff in your bathroom is conspiring against you... waiting until your weakest (or most hungover) moment to suddenly surprise you with their emptiness. Okay, that's probably not the case, but it felt that way this morning. Of course this forced me to head out to pick up everything that I was out of. As I walked out my door it became apparent what the hideous noise that woke me up this morning was.

There is a movie being filmed nearby and the film company has closed the entire block for their equipment and crew. The arrival of the tractor trailers was what woke me up. One of the fellows setting up told me they had received permission from the city to film until 2 am tonite (usual cut off is midnite) so I guess I'll be seeing a lot of lights very late tonite. Its gotta be better than last weekend when a crew was doing helicopter shots for another film about 4 blocks from here... helicopters flying around from about 8 am on a Sunday. Ugh.

Don't get me wrong, I love the fact that lots of things are filming in my neighbourhood - its great for the economy - but its also a bit of a pain in the ass sometimes. Ah well...there are a helluva lot worse things that could be going on down the street.

Friday, March 28, 2003

The Call

The time: 2:30 am
The Place: Our heroine's flat, somewhere in Vancouver

As we join our heroine, she is soundly asleep after retiring early. The telephone rings. Foolishly she picks it up. It is the divine Miss M at a club somewhere in town. She has someone, lets call him D, who wishes to speak with our heroine. Miss M does not seem to understand that it is the middle of the night and our heroine is sleeping. She will not take no for an answer. Our heroine does the logical thing... she hangs up the phone.

Five minutes later, our heroine's phone rings again. She ignores it. It goes to voicemail. This repeats three or four times. Finally our heroine does the unthinkable - she picks up the phone. It is D. She attempts to explain that it is the middle of the fucking night and she has a very early morning, so perhaps this is not the time to be talking. She commits to speaking with D later in the day, when she is awake. She doesn't really want to speak with D at all.

Later, as she sits, wide awake, typing this, unable to get back to sleep, she wonders why the fuck she didn't just unplug the fucking phone! Ah yes, hindsight is indeed 20/20.

Thursday, March 27, 2003

Quiet Time

I'm slipping... I can feel it. I guess it's to be expected... I've spent the last few months as crazy party girl. It's only normal that eventually my mind and my body would start to show it. I'd love to say something incredibly deep like I'm drowning in a sea of despair, but I'm not. Not really. My mind is just moving into hibernation mode. I don't want to go out; I don't want to see anyone; I don't want to talk to anyone. I look in the mirror and I just don't like what I see right now. The last few months are showing in my face and my body. I look tired. I have gained weight that I really can't afford to gain.

Worse than how I look and feel physically is how my mind feels. I'm definitely sinking down again. Damn it! I have never been someone that you'd call 'stable' but I thought that I had a pretty good handle on things lately. Looking back I realize that I don't. Moderation is not in my vocabulary and I need to get it there. I'm either going constantly or not getting out bed for days at a time. I'm in transition between the two right now. By next week I won't want to leave the house. I will of course... to go to work at least.

I wonder how much of this is due to my current obsession about Iraq. It certainly doesn't help that everywhere I turn I'm inundated with it. Its depressing to people who don't suffer from depression for Christ's sake...

I need to get my life organized again. Get back to the gym. Do the laundry I've been putting off for weeks. Clean my flat. Start cooking again and quit eating out every day. Ease off the booze (etc.). God I hate feeling like this. Hell maybe I'm just tired. Enough moaning for now.

Just saw that Christopher Allbriton has arrived in Ankara. You can check out what he has to say here .


New Lenny Kravitz protest song available here.

Wednesday, March 26, 2003

Must...not... read... anymore...

The US has come out now and said that once they 'liberate' Iraq they have no intention of turning control of the country over to the UN. So... I thought that this was all about freeing the people of Iraq and not about oil or money. Then why is it that it all comes down to who gets the contracts to rebuild and who controls the oil? I'm absolutely sickened.


"The United States said it did not target a residential area of Baghdad where explosions killed at least 15 people on Wednesday but left open the possibility that a U.S. bomb or missile may have gone astray." ~ Reuters

May have gone astray? Possibility? Well I'm thinkin' that since a residential area was bombed, that its a helluva lot more than a possibility. Or is this the same "possibility" that some other missiles went astray and accidentally hit Iran? Yup Bush, we have faith in the incredible accuracy of your weapons...

Our friend at Where's Raed hasn't posted since Monday... I hope he's okay.

I don't know if I can watch/read any more about Iraq for a while. It makes me sick; it makes me cry; it makes me glad I don't have children; it just makes me sad.

Tuesday, March 25, 2003

What makes me happy

This morning while driving into work I was cut off by an idiot driving twice the speed limit and zipping in and out of traffic. A few kilometres down the road, I saw said idiot pulled over by the cops and getting what I can only assume was a very hefty ticket. That makes me happy.

Monday, March 24, 2003

Feeling a little dark tonite...

Oh the women tear their blouses off
and the men they dance on the polka-dots
And it's partner found, it's partner lost
and it's hell to pay when the fiddler stops
I swear it happened just like this:
a sigh, a cry, a hungry kiss
The Gates of Love they budged an inch
I can't say much has happened since
I loved you when our love was blessed
I love you now there's nothing left
I miss you since the place got wrecked
By the winds of change and the weeds of sex.

~Leonard Cohen

I hate Mondays

Monday is definitely the most brutal day of the week. No more relaxing; no more doing what I want... its back to doing what someone else wants me to. Work sucks. Not that my job or the company I work for sucks any more than any other - it doesn't. Just the idea of work is unappealing to me... especially on Mondays. Part of that could be caused by our traditional Sunday 'kiss the weekend goodbye' nites at the pub, which leave me tired and disinterested on Monday.

Last nite was especially interesting as I had my date with internet boy. Much as I suspected, there were no sparks, although I did have a nice time. We don't seem to have many common interests so at times conversation was a little strained, but we managed to get through those spots. Of course, the dynamic changed slightly when I looked over and my lovely friend M was sitting at the bar next to us. Um...yeah... what the hell are you doing here? After a few drinks elsewhere she felt it was her duty to check in and make sure I was okay, which I was, so my nice little date turned into a threesome (and not in a good way). Ah well, I don't expect I'll be hearing from him anytime soon. On the upside after he left, M and I sat around with the staff after closing, had a few drinks and put the world to rights.

Saturday nite was much more interesting. Party went quite well... very little talk of Iraq, and the crowd was split about 50/50 on their opinions so I did not feel under attack for my views. After copius amounts of red wine and little to eat, I found myself at S's place with J and S. Somehow we wound up drinking gin and some kind of banana-orange juice... needless to say that was not a good combination on top of the red wine. J passed out early and S and I amused ourselves playing drunken kissy face. I awoke on Sunday with a nasty headache and did the walk of shame at about 1:30 pm. Okay actually it was the cab ride of shame... there was no way in hell I was going to walk home looking like crap and all hungover. Spent the better part of the day snoozing and watching mindless television until it was time for the date.

Now I'm finally back at home after a long, unproductive day. Looking forward to a very relaxing evening.

Oh and special thanks to John for his HTML tips and suggestions on an easy to use book.

Saturday, March 22, 2003

Okay, I really am going to go out soon. I've been playing with comments and I think I've finally got! Yay me!

Haven't actually made it outside yet. It's still not raining so I am going to venture out soon. A nap just seemed much more inviting... that's what weekends are for ... right? Going to a birthday party for my pro-Bush friend C tonite. I hope that the conversation does not all consist of Iraq... it seems my opinion is not all that popular and I have no desire to be attacked for it all night long. Oh, and I agreed to meet cute internet boy for a drink tomorrow at a local pub of his choosing. Unfortunately or fortunately, I'm not sure which, it is a place that I have been known to spend some time. Assuming that the adorable S behind the bar keeps his mouth shut about stories M and I have shared with him in the past, it should be fine. Whatever... its a way to spend a Sunday evening. Okay, off to the shower and out the door!

Quote of the day

"If you're anti Bush, you're pro Saddam"

Pardon?! What the hell is that? A very close (American) friend of mine actually said that to me yesterday. I can't believe that she actually believes it. Yes, she is in full support of US action in Iraq, but because I disagree with it I'm pro Saddam? Perhaps I'm naive, but if the whole point of this is to oust Saddam and they've been wanting to oust him for years, why don't they just do what the CIA has done in the past... send in someone to assassinate (sp?) him. Regimes all of the world have been toppled by the US (and other countries of course) by doing just that. If Saddam is the only target why on earth risk thousands of soldier and civilian lives? I just don't understand I guess. Don't get me wrong, I understand that the current regime in Iraq has caused the death of thousands and thousands of their own people. I understand that most of the Iraqi people will be happy to see him go. I just don't understand why we still feel that bombing the shit out of something is the only way to resolve things.

At least the sun is shining today. Yesterday was so grey and rainy it was depressing. I don't know how long the sun is supposed to stay out so I think I'm gonna have to get out there soon, hit Starbucks for a triple grande non-fat latte and head down towards the lagoon for a little stroll. Oh, and I got a notice that I have a package at the post office I need to pick up. I'm not expecting anything so I'm a little intrigued. I always feel better when the sun is shining...maybe spring is finally coming. Wait a minute, this is Vancouver... constant rain is the prime indicator of spring's arrival. Damn. I love this place, but the constant rain is a little much. Ah, could be worse... it could be snow!

Thursday, March 20, 2003

After all the discussions of internet dating (shiver) I have retired to my friend M's house to indulge in some decent California cab, and some good old fashioned girl talk. Have more to write later, but questionable whether I'll be able to type then. Was discussing self medication with my friend C earlier... I thought the prescription meds were supposed to help prevent the need for creative homeopathic remedies (shall we call them). Maybe it's time to discuss it with the doc. Enough for now... homeopathy calls....

I've noticed that most of the bloggers out there are discussing the war in Iraq to some extent, so I'm going to keep my thoughts to a minimum. While many do not agree with me, I was very proud of our PM when he stated that we would not commit troups to a non UN-sanctioned military effort. We will step in and help Iraq in the aftermath, but we aren't going to be there now. I'm pleased with that.

On to other topics.... such as... internet dating

A while back I was happily surfing along when I came across a personals site and decided just to take a peek to see what kind of folks participated in such a thing. Of course in order to do that, you have to actually sign up and create a profile. Oh, don't worry, they tell you, its free and you can hide your profile so no-one will ever see it. Uh huh... okay. Do I want to attach a picture? Are you serious? Then people will know who I am! No way do I want anyone I know to see my picture on a personals site! Okay... no picture, but the profile is complete and off I go, happily skulking along in the shadows spying on what's going on.

And then it happens - someone sends me a message.

They've read my profile and they are intrigued.

How could they be intrigued? Surely I'm not that interesting without a picture. And what were they doing looking at ads without pictures anyway?!

I look at his profile. He is cute. He is very cute. So I respond and we chat briefly and then he asks me to send a picture. I tell him that I don't have a picture (which I don't), nor do I have the means to get one up there anytime soon, being technically illiterate and all. He says fine, I don't mean to be shallow but drop me a line when you have a picture so I can see what you look like. Fine I think ... I have no intention of sending him a picture.

Later I receive other messages from people wanting to be friends or more than friends. I keep in email contact with them. One I have dated (no sparks, but it was fun enough), 2 more I email with regularly and as they are in my city, we may meet, 1 more is in a different city and we email back and forth and strike up a friendship. But nothing more from the cute boy. I am not troubled.

Last week I have a new message in my email inbox. It is the cute boy wondering if perhaps we can strike up a conversation and maybe even meet for a drink. He asks me if I met many people through this personals thing. I tell him my story that even without the picture I have met many people. I don't ask him how many he has met. I know the answer.

He emailed today. He wants to have drinks this week sometime. I am so tempted to tell him that I'm not sure I want to meet him; that I didn't like his picture; that he's not cute enough for me. Ah, but I won't, cuz I'm nice and we'll go out and he'll think I'm cute (cuz I am) and I'll find him boring and then I'll never see him again.

Is this what internet dating is all about?

I haven't checked messages at the site in a long time, but I believe my profile (sans pic) is still there. A round on me to anyone who can correctly identify me. Its not that tough... really... give it a shot. But don't forget... you have to create a profile first... but don't worry, no-one needs to see it. :)

Wednesday, March 19, 2003

Found a site that I think will help me with my HTML (or lack of HTML skills). I still haven't figured out how to line stuff up yet and there's a couple of things that I'm trying to get rid of but can't find in the bloody template, but considering I've only had a 10 minute tutorial, I'm pretty pleased. Its not pretty yet, but by god it will be! You can check out the tutorial site here if you like.

Okay, lets face it. I'm no techie. I don't know HTML... hell I don't know anything about customizing templates or anything else for that matter, so I think I'm doing okay. I can see that I'm going to have to pick up a book pretty soon and figure it out. All in good time Sandy. Let's walk before we run... shall we?

Any suggestions on a good beginner book would be greatly appreciated. You can email me at the link below (assuming that I set it up properly of course).

Its funny, I never thought I would be doing something like this, but reading other folks blogs really made me want to try. I don't know if I'll ever want to do more than just what I'm doing here now, but its kinda cool.


So.... Finally managed to get something posted! I'm so excited. Okay... I'm still at work so I'm not that excited, but I'm feeling pretty pleased with myself.

Tuesday, March 18, 2003

Well - here I go, venturing into a new realm and dumping my life on-line for anyone to see. Actually its not all that exciting so I'm not sure that anyone but me will be at all interested. Hell, I wonder sometimes if even I'm interested.

So - why am I doing this? I guess I've hit a point in my life where I'm not really sure where I'm going or what I'm doing and maybe seeing it all in print will help me get it sorted.

Today I'm scared. I'm scared that the whole world is going crazy and that Bush is severely underestimating the possible repercussions of what he's about to launch. Less than 24 hours now - unless of course Iraq decides to strike first. God, such serious stuff. Perhaps part of my malaise today is due to the excesses of the last few nights. I can't go out until all hours and then get up for work anymore, although I've certainly been trying. It was, after all, St Paddy's and despite the fact that I am less than 1/10th Irish, it was a fabulous excuse to indulge in an awful lot of Irish cheer - or was it Irish beer? Ugh.

In any case, I've spent the last few days tired, hungover and questioning why I bother. Going to spend this evening chillin in front of the TV and hopefully getting some sleep! Ah yes, the exciting life of a single girl in the city.

Having a bitch of a time getting this thing posted... apparently I'm either completely incompetent or something is wrong with the site. I prefer to think its the site than me... giving up for now and will try again later.